Erasure

Shadows crawl creep across
a timber wooden ground

a sprinkling of dust

mingles consorts with
ancient solar light

a reedy insistent critic
screams drones in ostinato,

“sweeping is a virtue”

defiantly
I open fling the window wider,
curtains surf the windy swell

erasing scrubbing out the voice nag
with a millet broom – it has red and yellow
threads strings holding binding  it together…

now, the mottled light slides
across a timber mirror floor

the sundial of a pleasant day
meets the golden hour

when I set off into the mellowness outside
to shoot paint poems
with images that move

the carping voice
is silent still…

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33 thoughts on “Erasure

  1. Just beautiful!!!! Your erasure surely works….. that too marvelously. I love the way erasure affects phonetics of the verse. & then at some precious places no erasure!!! e.g. “a sprinkling of dust” & “now, the mottled light slides/ across a timber mirror floor” ~ “the sundial of a pleasant day/ meets the golden hour”. Rich imagery brings forth message that needs no “Erasure”!!!

  2. There is a feel here, a palpable sense of shedding, or more like a centering. I liked the experimentation with erasure here, certainly an enhancement to the tone of the piece itself.

  3. I love the way you did this…a very original technique, showing the words erased as well. A poem with beautiful complexity and a technique I would like to try!

  4. I enjoyed this a lot. I do much editing when writing although often not as much as I should. I think most of the poems I’ve written still need a grease pencil and a lot of ‘erasing’. Enjoyed seeing this – it produced a lovely and graceful work of art.

    • It is great fun to play around with erasure – I wanted to bring back the manuscript effect of words written on paper – you can can erase a word but traces remain 🙂

  5. Whether or not you erased the correct words, which I happen to think you did, mostly anyway, this is still a sparkling poem, which is well up with your usual high standards, particularly the imagery you create with words which are always so capable of adding magic even to the mundane, M. Well penned.

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