Eric stands
under a yawning street lamp,
red beard glinting
with dark lights.
He has her number now,
the apartment building beckons,
ghostly birches wave a welcome.
He flies up the stairs,
finds the right door,
takes out his pick lock,
turns the reluctant barrels
whispering, “come to Daddy”.
Finally, a satisfying click.
The door swings open,
the flat is bare, inconvenient
witness gone, Eric swears
about bestial intercourse,
heads for home.
In his letterbox, he finds
a gilt edged envelope,
inside a note
smelling of violets,
a name, address
and photograph – same offer
as before.
Offered for
Oh but your language is so rich ~ & your slowly unfolding plot so intriguing. Love ‘Eric swears about bestial intercourse’ & spent several minutes trying to decide what he actually said! Strong beginning, ending loaded with suspense ~ brilliant! 🙂
Haha – I was going to write bugger but a description of the word struck me as humorous
nice…his swearing made me laugh a bit…just the way you said it…intrigued by the letter as well….nice tension in this one marousia
I linked it to your prompt about choices – I hope that’s OK 🙂
Nice build up…I was holding my breath for the ending ~ Do you think he got his just desserts ? You can get trapped in the games you are playing you know ~ Enjoyed this ~
http://a-sweetlust.blogspot.ca/2012/06/of-green-apples-and-bikes.html
he is trapped but I’ll say no more 😉
Filled with suspense…what’s next I wonder?
🙂 watch this space
Very clever and suspenseful. Really interesting – the swearing made me laugh too. k.
Glad you found it humorous
Ohh… it seems he got his just deserts…. Maybe! LOL
Very suspenseful, a really good read 🙂
And, thinking about the prompt, I wonder just what he will CHOOSE to do with the letter and its offer!
There are clues in the other instalments – follow tag Slip Alley 🙂
Love the first stanza… and the quickening pace adds to the intensity.
This is a nail biter…you tease! I love, love, love this series. The polished penny dreadful of the 21st Century. Your well, m’dear never runs dry!!
It is a penny dreadful – hadn’t thought of it that way but I am using the ole cliff hanger device – lol
Suspenseful, beautifully written. . .I’ll tune in for the next one. . .
ha…i’m wondering if he will choose to try again…
Oh he certainly will – he has killed before and has Ollie on his trail
Intriguing tale told, the poetry painting the scene perfectly.
I love how you used the language to convey such a heavy atmosphere… and also “cracks” in it, like the “Come to Daddy” part! Very intriguing poem indeed. Everything links together and points at directions but does not tell… Suspense.
You’ve definitely captured a moment in a larger context of distrust and mystery. The criminality of the scene is offset by the mysterious letter, a tantalizing clue and invitation to want to read more. Hope to see you at my offering to the prompt! 🙂
Visited and commented 🙂
Mysterious and alluring in it’s ambiguity, menace, and tables turning sort of feel. Will be interested to see any follow up, as the narrative leaves one guessing on a lot of points–one of my favorite things in a poem.
It is an ongoing noir series 🙂 I am using a Slip Alley tag
you describe each moment so perfectly, i can just picture it all
Princess Vadar
Read Princess Vadar and left a comment for you
Eric swears
about bestial intercourse,
Well thats a unique way of putting it, if you are saying what I think you’re saying, which I am sure you are, but then again, i could be wrong 😉
Piqued my intrigue, thats for sure.
🙂